Authenticity is crucial!
Ed Mylett gets the recognition for this post, before anybody states the irony in my title as it inspired me to really think about this topic. It sent off a series of thoughts that made me write this, in my own words and with my own experiences.
Ed Mylett said:
"You can't transfer to me that which you do not feel yourself.”
Wow, I thought when I heard this. I could think of 10000s of examples straight away.
This is beautifully put because it hits the title of this blog and the message perfectly.
My first thoughts came about when I thought about the people who pretended they were 'anxious' or 'depressed' or made it too financial riches 'from nothing'. I could smell these people a mile off, but social media if your not careful allows many of them to get away with it.
Then I thought about something else, which is common in the industries that I work in.
This particular example was about 'gurus' and 'mentors'. So personally I have no problem with people being mentors or coaches or speaking words of wisdom....
BUT I do when there is no substance there because this demonstrates a lack of authenticity.
You see far too often I am seeing coaches offer me experiences on how to build a business, how to stay motivated, how to remain productive, how to cope with stress, how to deal with failure etc ...
99% of these people have never done 1/2 the above.
So I ask you, before you try to sell a perception or perfect image of how wonderful you are and aware of what you have come through, are you really speaking your truth?
Or just regurgitating something you think is cool and will resonate with the audience?
I categorise myself into often speaking about 4 things:
2. Health & Fitness
4. Overcoming adversity
To make these easier to read, let's stick to the 4 numbered points.
I have lived and breathed it. I still struggle with it. I have and MAY always have to deal with it, but 1 thing I havent done is pick up a book, realised it is a problem and then speak about it like it's my own truth.
2. Health & Fitness
I have lost 42lbs in 7.5 weeks. I have been fortunate to train under Olympic coaches, MMA champions & well respected coaches. I have learnt the basics of Personal Training REPS level 3 with many other additional coaching qualifications and more importantly than that I have trained over 100+ clients and accumulated more than 1200+ hours of 121 sessions not just in the GYM but outside too!
I know what it is like to be fat. I know what it is like to be unfit. I know what it is like to struggle to maintain a diet for 18 months and go to bed starving. I know this, because I lived it. I didn't read it on Instagram.
Probably the least comfortable one I like to speak about, but I have had personal training businesses, I have helped the other half on building a business from scratch, I have started a property business, a refurbishment company all with little to no experience prior to trying this. My definition of an entrepreneur is one who solves problems and continues to learn from failures in an evergreen pursuit of their goals. I believe I have done this.
4. Overcoming adversity
I rarely speak about my own adversity. It's not something I really need to showcase when I tell people I genuinely want to connect with them and can understand their pain.
I have lost more than 10+ people in my life, 7 within 18 months.
I have seen cancer / diabetes / dementia / heart attacks / murder hit my immediate and extended family.
I have seen alcohol abuse and domestic abuse.
I have seen what it is like to have everything but money.
I have seen what is is like to eat the same 2 sandwiches rotated for weeks on weeks and years on years.
I have seen what assault tastes like.
I have seen what nightmares can do to a grown adult as a result of the above.
I have seen children in the care system suffer abuse. I have siblings who belonged to that care system.
I have worked with prisoners in changing and shaping their lives.
I could continue, as many of you could too. But the point to this post is that ANYTHING I have ever spoken about or expressed is something I have felt, experienced or been a part of.
I don't pretend to know about things I have never experienced despite me reading about it.
But in a world where people spend their energies to manipulate people and take their money for their quick rich schemes, I sometimes feel out of place.
I feel like the few who haven't cashed in on selling the property life style dream of being financially free. I feel my life coaching business, having dealt with more experiences than a lot at my age should be marketed more.
But at the very same time, I feel happy knowing my own path is authentic to me.