So you are probably assuming this is a bit of a clickbait title? I mean after all, I am technically utilsing my social media to spread this message.
But there is a more serious, honest message I want to share with you.
You see, whether its Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube, Medium or even here on my website, most of you are USING IT WRONG!
Now I am not here saying Social media is bad as it can be a fantastic tool, but ONLY if we utilise it correctly.
It’s great for networking, sharing memories, promoting your businesses, making people smile, sharing value and finding out what’s going on in everyone’s life at the CLICK of a few fingers!
It also helps pass time during toilet breaks and long commutes!
But as with everything there is always a flip side.
Social media in my experience working with clients, is not used the correct way when MENTAL HEALTH and self-worth are concerned.
So what do I mean by this:
1. No one posts about how SHIT their life is on social media. So we therefore experience bad moments in our life and assume the world is only out to get us. Wrong!
2. Everyone posts about how AMAZING their life is. Remember this is a highlight, they are likely not showing you the hours before or after that well taken selfie which possibly took 15 attempts and a few filters to get right.
3. Everyone seems to be RICH, happy and touring Singapore on a weekly basis. Sadly a few people like this do exist, but I promise you it's not everybody on your friends and family list!
4. No one mentions their car breaking down, their family and friends dying too soon and their businesses failing before they’ve even started. I mean after all, who would want to showcase a nightmare reel? Very few people.
5. No one admits they woke up in a FUNK either and failed to do anything productive that day. Instead, we see constant "hustlers" reading to orphans in the day, fighting crime at lunchtime whilst saving cats from burning buildings and working 16-hour days in the evening. Nope! I am not having it. Unless you are The Rock this is not possible. But we often believe it to be right? After all, perception is reality.
You see, what most people post, demonstrate, record or communicate is only what they WANT others to see. So it rarely comes from a place of complete transparency.
And to add to this…
We aren't exactly helped by these so called experts selling strategies and courses to enhance your social media presence and pretending that a £2k course will suddenly change your circumstances.
In fact, it will just make it worse.
You will be £2k worse off, not having addressed the initial monkey in the room…
They fail to mention that real life isn’t a 15 second SNAPCHAT video, or a highly filtered INSTAGRAM shot or an incredible update on FACEBOOK showing a holiday of a lifetime.
They say perception is reality, but how far past your reality are you letting people see you?
It doesn’t teach us to understand that, it’s a HIGHLIGHT reel for many. It fails to teach us that those you aspire to be like and wish you could swap your circumstances with, have also likely got things they would trade in a heartbeat with you too!
Additionally, the more we use it, the more we value our SELF worth by how many LIKES we get, views and comments we receive and what our RT count on twitter is!
What about how much you LIKE yourself? How about how proud you feel after doing something on social media, about yourself and not what the 'audience' thinks?
Is that now irrelevant because it didn't quite capture the imagination of people how you first thought?
How does that then, make you THINK of yourself?
You see, I write this because on a small scale I fell into the trap off comparing myself with others a few years back. I would get my physique down to 5% and strength where I wanted but still feel incomplete because my TRAPS were too small.
I would then write the most motivational quotes and get no RTs and likes except for those from my wife.
To make matters worse, I used to do all the ‘things’ people told me I should be doing:
1. I would read daily.
2. I would workout daily and perfect my body.
3. I would read affirmations and positively reinforce my goals daily
Yet I still found myself troubled with moments of EMPTINESS and not feeling somewhat good enough!
The good news however…
Is that this has now massively changed. I have learnt, maybe from the efforts above in my daily routines that I am in control.
I swiftly realised I can control what I choose to let affect me.
My thoughts alone that I attach to certain things I see, view or compare myself with are simply that, just thoughts. The beauty of this, is that with thoughts, we have the ability to change them in any way, shape or form.
You see, that quote “Change your thoughts and you change your world” now makes perfect sense to me!
Now the downside to ending this article here is, is that you may not resonate with that quote how I did when I had a breakthrough!
We all have shifts at different stages. So what I always encourage people I work with is to try a few little tips and tricks:
1. Next time you read/see someone else s highlight reel. Just STOP. Acknowledge it is likely just that, a highlight reel.
2. Now think about your highlight reel. Praise yourself for the good you have done today or yesterday.
3. Be grateful for the smaller things in life. Water, clothes, fresh food, best friends, family, the internet, mobile phones, Netflix, fresh air, sunlight etc etc
4. Empower yourself by praising your qualities daily.
Now if you have never tried this before, you will be thinking ?!WTF?!
But as another great quote states:
“The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again, expecting different results.”
So on that note, what do you have to lose? Change your habits, your thoughts, your mindset and you will... change your world!
And the best thing about it all….
I leave you with a final message before I close this off.
“The grass is rarely greener on the other side.”
Have an awesome day and #JustDeuIt